What’s a word that begins with “C” and can be scarier thancommitment?
They have the chance toreallylearn who you are.
That all sounds scary, so what are the reasons you should make the leap?
Turns out there’s a lot you might learn when you make the big move.
Don’t let the studies scare you
I have a personal connection with this topic.
I’m 23 years old and started living with my boyfriend just eight months ago.
Thestatistics and studiesI read about couples who live togetherbefore marriageactually made me terrified for my own relationship.
That is until I heard some real opinions.
Instead of horrifying divorce rates andcohabiters categorized by key in, I found real experiences and real stories.
“It’s the beginning of a life together, it’s the process and the learning.
And marriage is the ultimate commitment.
Who is going to pay the rent or the mortgage?
You don’t really know until you’re actually put into those situations.
urged Nicole Wythe, who lived with her now-husband for three years prior to their engagement.
She explained that after a few tries with a few different relationships, she figured out what works.
Relationship specialistPaula Susantold me, “Most of us learn how to handle finances from our parents' style.
This can be a difficult stumbling block for lots of couples.
Good discussions and resolution should be a priority or there will be problems.”
I have them, and my boyfriend certainly has them too.
Plus, there’s a chance they might be habits for a reason.
Susan explained, “People are too quick to push their wants on each other.
Ever tried to decorate a room (or a whole house!)
with someone who had a totally different style?
It’s not easy.
Susan pointed out that, “…you oughta realize that there is no one way of doing things.
You each have ideas that should be considered.”
There will be no reason to fight.
Real communication is the number one issue with couples,” says Susan.
Ever heard that phrase, “Ships passing in the night?”
That’s no fun, but it really does happen and it can make things difficult.
It’s hard to grow (or even survive) as a couple when you’re rarely together.
you’re free to do that, right?
If not, it’s time to learn.
How to feel comfortable
Your home is your safety net.
Does your partner add to it or take away from it?
It’s not just about food, shelter, finances, etc.
It’s aboutyourpersonas a whole.
Do you want to come home to them and everything that comes with them?
“Being in their comfort zone can bring out someone completely different,” says Sonia Lacy.
Lacy and her husband have been married for almost 20 years, but lived together four years prior.
Learning about boundaries comes with time and maybe even crossing a line or two.
Some couples are more open than others.
Your phone rings… Would you be okay if your significant other answered it?
It’s important to figure these things out early on.
Clinical Psychologist Ryan Howes, Ph.D, says setting boundaries is a must in any relationship.
And when in doubt about whether something crosses a line just ask.
Twosociologists from Texasexplained that many underlying factors could have led to those results, somewhat skewing the data.
