It’s devastating, therefore, that so many suffer at the hands of an abuser.
The statistics are sobering.
Every minute, 20 peopleare victimsof intimate partner violence.
Clearly, this is a serious and widespread issue.
Over the years, I have wondered how so many had missed the warning signs their partner had exhibited.
They might also make wild accusations about your behavior while suggesting that you are untrustworthy.
It’s not uncommon for some to take their time before taking the plunge into couplehood.
It’s not a bad thing to spend some time getting to know each other better.
They may even begin talking about marriage.
The key here is that this is a mutual agreement that works for both parties.
It’s potentially a problem if you feel interrogated by your partner on a regular basis.
You are entitled to privacy and should feel trusted in your relationship.
These controlling behaviors are not healthy for anyone.
Little loving gestures can mean so much but sometimes things don’t go as well as we’d like.
That is abuse and will likely worsen over time.
That’s not to say that we shouldn’t encourage an easily irritated person (including ourselves!)
to adopt better coping strategies but we also shouldn’t accuse every cranky person of being abusive.
The same applies for a partner who whines and pouts every time they don’t get their way.
Healthy communication should never be replaced by subtle forms of manipulation.
If you feel that your partner gets angry too easily or has unpredictable moods, believe your instincts.
They are trying to protect you.
Who wants to admit that we’ve caused our own pain, right?
Most of us will venture to protect our ego at some point!
This is an attempt to shift responsibility away from themselves and can be a sign of emotional abuse.
Don’t be their scapegoat!
They are cruel to animals and children
Not everyone loves animals and kids.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.
After all, we are all entitled to make our own choices in life.
Being intimate with a significant other should feel reaffirming, empowering, and loving while strengthening your bond.
These private moments are a great way to connect and share on a deeper level.
If they frequently mention enjoying rape fantasies and the idea terrifies you, set some clear boundaries.
That’s not an equal partnership.
I have noticed, also, that my clients have missed more subtle forms of pressure.
or “don’t you want to make me happy?”
while suggesting sexual activity, understand that this is not normal.
The way that men and women interact is changing, however.
There are households where fathers stay home and raise the children while mothers take on the role of breadwinner.
There are men who do all of the cooking and cleaning while women handle the bills.
The point is that society’s gender-related expectations are changing.
In those instances, you might probably shrug off the comment unless it becomes a pattern.
Keep your calm, remove yourself from potential danger, and then address the situation.
Sometimes, we put the other person ahead of our own needs.
Don’t let anyone intimidate you into staying in an unhealthy relationship.
At the end of the day, you should focus on what is best for you.
You deserve to be happy, respected, and adored even if you have to do that for yourself!
