Often, these personal idiosyncrasies can seem endearing.
It can be tough to talk to those you care about regarding sticky situations.
Smoking
Smoking is an addiction.
Nicotine use is hard to quit.
Quitting smokingrequires a lot of support.
Drinking
Like smoking, alcoholism is an addiction.
It usually doesn’t help.
Unhealthy eating
You eat lean proteins, plenty of fruits and vegetables, and healthy whole grains.
Your partner prefers anything once it’s been fried.
You cook after work.
Your partner’s more likely to hit the drive thru line on the way home.
For couples whodidn’tadapt, there were often “food conflicts.”
Talking about unhealthy eating or weight gain can be a really sensitive conversation.
Staying calm and trying to be sensitive are good places to start.
It’s a start.
Compromise and be patient.
Neither of you have to change your eating habits entirely to mesh with the other’s.
A2006 studyillustrates this idea: compromise and accommodation techniques can lessen the impact of conflict over time.
What if you have debt and a low credit score, while your partner has robust savings?
Suze Orman, who wrote an article about couples and financesforOprahmagazine, says blame doesn’t help anything.
No one is perfect.
Instead, consider talking about things you both can do that can make your financial habits healthier.
Others like direct deposits into a savings account that they never touch.
These tools can help you better manage your finances and maybe change a few of those not-so-great financial habits.
That’s entirely understandable.
Some days, the motivation just isn’t there.
It might help if you two make some compromises to figure out a way to work out together.
Once you start the conversation, be gentle and kind, above all.
Tell your partner how their habits make you feel, and then let them speak.
Don’t make the entire conversation about how you feel.
Listen carefully and earnestly, and remember: no lecturing.
Stress
People who are stressed out are sometimes difficult to reason with.
It’s necessary to have the conversation, though.
If you don’t recognize that it’s probably stress, you might think there’s something else wrong.
Also, ask howtheythink you could help, rather than simply deciding what you’re going to do yourself.
Whatever it is that you come up with may not actually be what’s most helpful.
Above all, emphasize love and support and remain calm.
According toCBS News, the Nielson Company reported that 21 million Americans accessed porn at work in March 2010.
It’s also clear that porn use can affect romantic relationships.
Listen to what he or she has to say calmly and respectfully.
Then, share your feelings.
A conversation like that can get emotional, but try your best to speak calmly and articulately.
Hawkins also advises that you double back and follow up with your partner about things periodically.
When you do so, being sensitive and non-judgmental is just as important as in the initial conversation.
Anything that’s a habit can take time to change.
Telling the truth and being open, honest, and vulnerable can make the initial conversation go more smoothly.
Don’t underestimate the importance of your approach.
It’s never easy to bring up a subject that you know could potentially end the relationship.
Your relationship really can come out of these conversations stronger.
And who knows, maybe one day, they’ll thank you for your honesty and courage.
