When it comes to dating, there are a lot of things that can go wrong.
“We learn about love from our parents,” Dr. Michaelis said.
“It’s part of the authority that parents get.
Dr. Michaelis gave me two examples of how parents' love models have affected some of his patients.
This caused her to continuously be in relationships, even if they weren’t healthy.
Of course, that’s not how the boyfriend felt, and it nearly destroyed the partnership.
It’s very dangerous once you do that.
A romantic relationship is for the people in that relationship to work on, not their parents.
A parent might even mean well by doing this, but it is still detrimental and cause for awkwardness.
If you don’t, it’ll just keep happening.
Being overly attached
The monster of all monsters is “The Mama’s Boy.”
At least, that’s what professional matchmaker Trombetti had to say from her experience working with couples.
When the mom interferes to this extent, it’s not only intrusive but it’s majorly creepy.
“It’s ridiculous, they’re so competitive.”
And it isn’t just reserved for men and their mothers.
This kind of over-involvement and over-attachment can also happen with women and their fathers.
The result is a weird and angering experience that will eventually break up the relationship.
They see it as preserving their beliefs.
Similarly,Jewish parentsmay also insist on their child marrying another Jew.
These are just a few examples.
However, that’s not to say that intercultural relationships can’t succeed.
The question is, can you handle that?
Watching a marriage dissolve can give a person a cynical outlook on their own love lives.
Your partner might feel like they need to be there more for their parents than they are for you.
Just because your parents may be dysfunctional, doesn’t mean that your relationship has to be.
Manipulating you with money
Money can be a huge factor in a romantic relationship.
Not making enough money and struggling with finances can put a lot of pressure on people.
But money can also cause problems for your relationship when parents get involved.
But sometimes they do.
Financial interference can lead to other kinds of interference that impact your lifestyle as a couple.
It can put you on puppet strings that pull at your partner’s parents' every beck and call.
You don’t want to be in the position where you’re indebted to your potential in-laws.
For a growing couple, holidays are occasions that foster bonding.
But when a couple is separated, they are denied that opportunity.
This can definitely create tension and spark arguments with your partner.
Showing up frequently
Couples need time alone together to be able to foster their relationship.
However, this quality time can get interrupted when parents decide to make a nuisance of themselves.
Somehow, you just can’t seem to get rid of them.
“They can show up at odd times,” Trombetti said.
“They can show up during quality time which is really preventing the bonding.”
So why do parents do this?
According to Trombetti it’s because they’re overprotective and feel the need to hover.
Whatever their reason for hanging around, it is intrusive and can be extremely frustrating.
They might just be doing what they think is right or normal.
Some families operate on hyper-involvement while some give each other more space.
For some parents, it’s more of a knee-jerk reaction than a malicious plot.
It’s not just your partner’s parents, either.
What to do about it
Recognizing these problems is only half the battle.
What really counts is how you as a couple handle it.
“Young adultsespeciallyneed to be autonomous,” Dr. Michaelis said.
“They need to go out and try things in the world and also make mistakes.”
“Healthy boundaries within families make for better relationships for their children going forward,” Dr. Michaelis continued.
“That’s something that I constantly advocate, is healthy boundaries.”
Are you the first person they call for advice or tell their good news to?
If not, it looks like mom and dad are keeping them after all!
