Dating, for most people, can be a daunting enterprise.
Certainly some professionals have dished out advice that turned out to backfire in the end.
Here are some of the most common examples of bad advice that experts give their clients.
So your mileage may vary.
Assess the situation and determine which solution is right for you in the moment.
But there are times when forgiving isn’t the right thing to do, and can hamper your well-being.
Dr. Serin notes that some situations are an exception.
They need to work on themselves before they are deserving of your forgiveness.
After all, they are trained and licensed to help us make healthy and informed decisions in our lives.
That was a big mistake, and bad, bad clinical judgment.
That is a typical example of bad advice.
At least it was only once."
Preferably, it’s best for the patient to make their own decisions.
So instead of marketing yourself to others, market yourselfto yourself.
Wear makeup because you like the way it looks.
Go to the gym because you enjoy being strong.
And wear clothes that make you feel confident and comfortable.
You’re more likely toattract a deserving partnerthat way anyhow.
Sexologist and relationship expertNoni Ayanatold me there’s a better way to handle dating.
“You may ask your date, ‘Why are you single?’
while you may ask your friend, ‘How does it feel to be single?’
The first question may be viewed as you thinking something may be wrong with this person.
So in essence, go with the flow and let the energy of the date move organically.
We rely on superficial characteristics to tell us if a person is worthy of a relationship.
I often refer to this strategy as the iceberg effect.
We tend to focus on what we can see, and neglect to look underneath the surface.”
Sex therapists are psychologists with a specialty in sexuality.
Unfortunately, medical doctors also receive very little education in regard to sexuality.
They too tend to minimize female sexuality."
Interrogate them about their findings, and advocate for yourself as much as possible.
Because it’s probably not just you.
Supposedly this is the one thing that will allow us to heal after a relationship comes to an end.
And there are many waysexperts tell uswe can get closure: grieve, process, create rituals, etc.
We often want closure when we have failed to address a situation at the time it took place.
“Drop closure off at the curb, it’s not your friend.
Pick a new place to hang out and move on.”
Marriage or bust
Don’t want to get married?
Dreading the annual holiday gathering where your entire family asks you why you’re still single?
You’re not alone, and this pressure might be the result of endemic bad advice.
In Shirley’s opinion, you only truly get to know your partner once in a legally recognized relationship.
Ayana disagrees with this perspective.
“I understand her article may have been targeting single women wanting to be married.
Trust family and friends' advice
So what makes someone a relationship expert anyway?
Right away, education, certification, and experience come to mind.
But not everyone trusts licensed professionals with their most intimate concerns and struggles.
Some of the worst advice comes from friends and family members because they themselves have unhealthy relationship patterns.”
Do they have happy partnerships?
If not, it’s probably better to take their advice with a grain of salt.
Otherwise you might end up digging deeper into toxic situations.
Interrogate a situation and use the wisdom you have to make the best decisions.
And listen to your heart.
