In fact, as I’ve explained to counseling clients in the past, marriage really is work.
After all, this is a partner that you are hoping to have through your lifetime.
The world will change, challenges will test you, and you will grow older.
As a result, your relationship will have to evolve to stand the test of time.
For this reason, the foundation it’s built upon needs to be solid.
Maybe this is the reason why we are seeing so many divorces in our time.
What’s your religion?
There are few things that affect all aspects of someone’s life quite the way religion does.
This is especially important if yours will be an interfaith marriage.
Think of all of the major holidays and come to an agreement about how each will be celebrated.
If you come from two backgrounds, will you combine it or celebrate each separately?
I’ve even heard of people alternating from one year to the next.
Experiment a little and do what works best for you as a couple.
Start your own traditions!
Will we have children?
This one is huge and should be taken seriously.
ensure to touch on hot topics such as vaccinations, daycare, and homeschooling, among other things.
If they say they don’t want kids and you want three, that is a serious problem.
Do not downplay your own wants, in hopes that you will convince them to change their mind.
Everyone has the right to decide whether parenthood is part of their future.
Where will we live?
Talk to your partner about where they hope to live.
Do they want to stay where they currently are, long-term?
Do they enjoy the idea of exploring new places?
Would they relocate if one of you got a new job?
You might be surprised by the answers you get.
Some people are really connected to their hometown and would never consider moving even for a great opportunity.
This is definitely an important conversation for you both to have before you consider marriage.
‘Til debt do us part
Talking about money can be very uncomfortable.
The last thing you want is to unknowingly inherit someone else’s debt.
If possible, put off any wedding plans until your finances are more manageable.
Some of us are happy living a more minimalist existence while others need a little more luxury.
This is one more area where your ability to compromise will dictate the quality of your relationship.
Just see to it you talk about it before you dive in buying furniture!
Who’s doing the laundry?
A lot goes into keeping a household running smoothly.
Trust me on this one!
Are you expecting a monogamous relationship?
What is too little and what is enough, when it comes to how frequently you are intimate?
How would you feel if your partner masturbated?
Sure, some of it is blush-worthy but being married is a serious commitment.
you gotta be able to talk about these things so that have a mutually fulfilling relationship.
Is your mother here again?
Does your mother like to drop by unannounced?
Does your partner text their siblings every time you guys get into a fight?
Are your parents fighting over where you, as a couple, will have Christmas dinner?
Talk to your partner about setting boundaries when it comes to extended family and create a united front.
Do it sooner, rather than later.
It will save you a lot of headaches.
Is that what you’re eating?
when you land to start stocking a shared pantry and fridge, you might be shocked by your differences.
This is one of those things to definitely discuss before getting married.
See if you’ve got the option to come to a healthy, happy agreement.
If not, this can genuinely cause daily battles.
There’s a lot more to talk about than you might realize.
For starters, how old do you want to be when you retire?
The answer to this question might surprise you.
I’ve had clients tell me that they plan to work up until they die!
Once you retire, what do you want to do with your time?
Do you want to travel the world?
Buy some land and grow a farm?
Volunteer for specific charities?
If you feel unsure about where to begin, pick a topic and just dive right in.
Keep an open mind and an open heart and you’ll be just fine!
