When I was young, I never dreamed that I’d be living the life I am now.
I never imagined that I’d get divorced and start all over again but, here I am.
Right in the thick of it.
I am always taken aback and amazed that anyone would think that this is an appropriate question to ask.
Why do they need that information and how am I supposed to answer that?
They shared the same womb, and to me, they are simply brothers and sisters.
It’s a personal choice.
Sounds cliche, but it’s true!
My younger children were born in the Southeast part of the United States.
Their aptitudes may vary
My first husband is a total bookworm.
He loves history and computers, and is a real handyman.
My new partner is the opposite.
), is a marathon runner, and seems to remember everything.
They have entirely different builds, health backgrounds, preferences, and mannerisms.
Even the identical twins!
), my kids are still just one big cohesive group.
I like to think I’m the glue that brings it all together.
I’m good like that.
He enjoys going to museums with the kids, but he isn’t known for being especially active.
It’s almost like they are polar opposites and, sometimes, it’s a bit confusing.
It’s easier said than done sometimes, though!
Sometimes, the most you’re free to hope for is pleasant neutrality despite your best efforts.
All I can do is hope that we can all be adults and set good examples for our kids.
My current partner had never been married before so everything is all new to him, including fatherhood.
Meanwhile, my former husband and I struggled with fertility issues and multiple miscarriages.
It’s an interesting dynamic.
Of course, this isn’t fair to anyone.
We love each other and I have to respect that he knew the situation and made his own choices.
That first year wasn’t too bad, thankfully.
When my younger children were born, it became a real ordeal.
But my ex refused to come over, so we had to improvise.
The same became true forallspecial days.
My new in-laws want to be too involved.
My partner is an only child, born to a single mother.
It has taken some getting used to!
It has not been completely easy but we have formed our own little bond and I love it.
You might be better the second time around
I liked to think (to hope!)
), and I am less bothered if my house (or my hair) doesn’t look perfect.
I prefer to believe that it’s a combination of the two.
Working on a relationship with a former spouse can be painstaking, but it’s very important.
This is especially true when exes have new partners.
It is a lot of hard work and, sometimes, it can be incredibly discouraging.
Because the kids will see how their siblings are treated by their respective fathers.
They will notice the differences in how they are raised and supported by each of these men.
You will have regrets
Even if your split was amicable, the first relationshipended.
Some people call divorce a life lesson, others will call it a failure.
Okay, mostly nervous.
“Are the kids excited?”
“Yes, of course.”
“Are you excited to finally have the kids I couldn’t give you?”
I can’t make this stuff up.
And in the meantime, I also hide out in the bathroom.
