Having regrets after a breakup is no strange occurrence.
It’s true even if you had somevery compelling reasons to call it quits.
Yes, no matter what, ending a relationship can hurt both emotionallyandphysically.
And, after the dust settles, you may find yourself battling another uncomfortable symptom: nagging regrets.
Soon, your brain floods with images of getting back together with your ex.
According to experts,thisis what regrets after a breakup might really mean.
“The person who initiates the breakdown gets a head start,” Morris explained toVice.
Still, both parties are prone to feeling sad and regretful.
In fact, the person who did the dumping can experience a unique form of regret.
However, Neitlich advises asking yourself: “What would it truly be like getting back together again?”
They don’t hold a candle to breakup-goggles.
Why do we do it?
“Nostalgia is also nature’s way of ensuring that we get into another relationship.
Panganiban recommends “taking some time to yourself” to avoid succumbing to nostalgia.
“If [your friends are] saying, ‘You know it wasn’t working.
Romance’s Guide to Finding Love Today, told the publication.
“They might be right.”
If youlovethe person you broke up with, chances are you didn’t want to cause any pain.
But them’s the breaks, right?
Breakups suck whether we want them to or not.
As such, it’s natural to feel sad and even remorseful for hurting your one-time partner.
As hard as ending a relationship may be, relationship experts say clear-cut breakups are vital.
She added, saying, “No good comes from doing a slow ignore and fade out.
“When you’re with somebody your brain releases feel-good chemicals like dopamine.
All of a sudden that’s gone.”
This kind of counter-factional thinking (e.g.
“What ifhe was the one?”
or “What ifwe’d spent more time together?")
commonly occurs after a breakup.
Counter-factional thinking and the regret that comes with it is actually much healthier than rumination.
“People tend to have faux regret after the relationship happens,” Markman described.
“Their tone tends to be wistful, sentimental.
They have a distant feeling of longing and nostalgia.
It can be very functional.”
Yes, your post-breakup regret could actually be triggered by the perceived threat to this basic human need.
This is the same feeling you would experience if you lost your job.
as well as ongoing or reoccurring themes in your life, like a relationship.
Sad, but true.
It’s simply looking for an easy way out to avoid pain.
If this is how your breakup happened, regret is likely to follow.
Because there wasn’t a lot of thought put into the breakup, you may consider getting back together.
That’s not necessarily a bad idea.
Tina B. Tessina, psychotherapist and author ofDr.
Romance’s Guide to Finding Love Today, recommends thinking over the relationship and breakup.
“Was there a lot of drama?
Checking in on your ex on social media is also a surefire way to regrets after a breakup.
This is why the expert recommends blocking your ex across your social media platforms when you first break up.
Andevery relationship could benefit from couples therapy.
Romance’s Guide to Finding Love Today, revealed toBustle.
“Look for a counselor who is demanding, who expects you to change what you’re doing.
It will be the best investment you ever made in your [relationship] and your own happiness.”
Counseling provides an opportunity for both parties to effectively communicate their feelings.
You may give a shot to pinpoint just where exactly the relationship took a turn for the worse.
Lewis explained toRewire,regarding feeling regrets after a breakup.
“What is good about me that my partner may not have appreciated?
What did I learn from this relationship about myself and my partner?”
That sounds like a solid technique, right?
“Eh, I don’t buy that,” the expert confessed.
“All of us are individuals, which means all of us are unique.
Romance’s Guide to Finding Love Today,” advised when speaking toBustle.
After all, who knows you better than, well, you?
Warren advises “reaching out” to your ex and seeing where things go.
She added, “Sometimes the second or third chance really is the charm.
And that’s okay.”
