People often say that nothing quite matches the betrayal felt after learning that a partner is cheating.
It has to be one of the hardest things a person can experience.
Surprisingly, even those who had cheated often said similar things.
It’s a complex and painful situation because no two stories are alike.
How one couple gets through the heartache may not work for another.
This can make it even harder for the betrayed partner to hear the truth.
Here are some suggestions for what you might do if you catch your partner cheating.
You might want to scream, break things, be confrontational, or otherwise destructive.
After all, it feels good to blow off some steam when we are hurting, right?
Pro tip: Water can feel really cleansing in a moment like this.
Is the evidence reliable and fully vetted?
Could there be any other explanations for your partner’s actions?
This is the time to find out.
Along the same lines, not every instance of cheating is going to involve sexual intercourse.
You may have to figure out what infidelity means toyou.
Sharing personal details with a close friend?
Really, it all depends on your comfort level and the boundaries you have set in your relationship.
Pro tip: Gather everything you know and CALMLY ask your partner for an explanation.
Also, some people consider anything cheating that they wouldn’t do in front of their significant other.
This will be important as you make decisions about the status of your relationship down the road.
Take breaks from time-to-time so that you both don’t become overwhelmed by the heaviness of this discussion.
Pro tip: Don’t postpone this step.
Many infections, even serious onessuch as HIV, respond well to early intervention and treatment.
Take someone with you for moral support.
That’s a fairly common occurrence.
when you obtain that, process the new information and continue working through this.
It’s not healthy to sit and obsess over the details.
Pro tip: Deep down, you will know when you’ve started crossing the line into obsession.
Stop looking at social media pictures and anything else that adds fuel to the fire.
There are a few things that seem to be pretty common during this time period.
For example, some people consider cheating on their partner in retaliation.
Some track down the “other person” to demand answers and engage in confrontation.
Don’t give in to these temptations.
Outbursts and more infidelity is not going to help you feel better.
If anything, it will only make things worse.
Write in a journal, go for a walk, or call a friend.
Create a strategy ahead of time so that you will know what to do when the urge strikes you.
Give yourself some time
Everyone will grieve and heal from infidelity at their own pace.
Some will be able to move past this relatively quickly while it might be more difficult for others.
It will also depend on the severity of the situation.
you could also choose to bring your partner to your sessions, if you think it will help.
This is especially important if you are feeling depressed and having suicidal thoughts.
There’s no shame in admitting to feeling this way and reaching out for help.
Most people will experience dark times at some point in their life.
Pro tip: Do not ignore lingering feelings of anger, anxiety, or sadness.
So often, people assume that forgiving someone is the same as condoning bad behavior.
That is simply not true.
You don’t even have to talk to them to forgive them!
Pro tip: Write down all of the ways that you feel wronged by your partner’s infidelity.
Add to it as needed.
Many people feel so good when they see the words describing their pain go up in flames.
Many couples venture to work it out after cheating has occurred and some will be successful.
Some might try and fail at reconciliation.
Others will choose to walk away from the relationship.
Having everything written down can bring clarity since your feelings may feel all jumbled up inside.
Work on yourself
No matter what, surviving infidelity will change you as a person.
Incredibly, there are people who gain valuable insight from a cheating partner and a broken relationship.
Challenge yourself to honestly and critically evaluate what happened and then work on yourself.
This is an opportunity to give yourself the attention you deserve.
Pro tip: What have you wanted to do for yourself but keep putting off?
Do you want to go back to school?
Make yourself the priority now!
Allow yourself time to grieve and then channel your anger, frustration, and pain into something positive.
Use those powerful emotions as fuel and set clear boundaries and expectations in your relationships.
Above all, never settle for less than you deserve.
Have the courage to move on when someone takes you for granted.
Remember that you are beautiful, strong, and worthy of love, honesty and respect!
